WTF?!

I just saw a story on Fox News about a guy trapped on a crane. Rescue workers were rushing to get him down off the crane, but they just broke in with an update to the story and apparently the guy has died. What the fuck? How did that happen? No details were given, but I assume a heart attack or something else just as stealthy was the culprit.

Still, it was disheveling to hear about a guy stuck on a crane one second and then dead the next. MORE INFO BEFORE REPORTING WOULD BE NICE! God, I know News Corp. has some kind of agenda against "facts" and "telling the whole story", but this isn't anything political...well, at least not until they find a way to blame the guy's death on Obama's former pastor.

WOW!

I'm not sure how much I'll be blogging in the near future. I got something yesterday that rhymes with Brand Heft Otto. I can already feel it sucking the lifeforce from my being until its ultimate completion. God help me that's pathetic.

Youtube+Reality television=Unintentional addiction

I'm amazed how well Youtube and reality TV work hand-in-hand. I can follow both American Idol and Dancing With The Stars days after they air, and skip the commercials and bullshit packages in between the performances. True, I can't vote since I'm watching them for the first time days after the fact, but I wouldn't vote anyway.

This is all hypothetically speaking, by the way. I don't REALLY watch those shows.

HOLY SHIT!

With the 3rd pick in the 2008 NFL Draft, the Atlanta Falcons pick...Matt Ryan!

So, I didn't get what I wanted necessarily, but I'm not upset by any means. I think Ryan is a fine pick at 3. Finally, this town can begin to get over the shadow that Michael Vick cast, and hopefully Ryan will pan out to be a winner in the league for many years to come. I've got my fingers crossed.

They're not really flexible, though. Gah!

I lied, no more Juno, it's NFL DRAFT DAY!

Being a beleaguered Atlanta Falcons fan now for quite a few years, last year was undoubtedly the feather in the cap of suckiness that the organization has worn for so long. Your QB's a felon, Joey Harrington becomes your starter, you have a 46-year-old man kicking field goals for you, your first-year coach coach quits after only 13 games on the job, and your "veteran" players act out and completely fuck over any saving grace they could have possibly provided by "staying classy" (to borrow a term from Anchor Man) to teach the rookies how "professional" football players are expected to act.

Well, today all that changes. Arthur Blanc has gone through great pains this off-season to change the image of the entire franchise. Starting from the top, he completely cleaned house, retaining only a handful of players from last year's roster, ridding himself of the troublemakers (DeAngelo Hall, for one), and signing a new "QUALITY" GM and head coach, the latter of which also brings on an entirely new coaching staff.

So, it's a new day for the Falcons. With 11 picks in the draft as a whole, 4 of which are within the first 48 picks, they have a chance to start anew like no other team I've ever seen. Who will the first pick be? Many are saying Glenn Dorsey from my favorite college team, the LSU Tigers, and I think I'd have to agree with that choice. Even though I think the need at the QB position may be greater than that on the defensive line, I think the number 3 pick in the draft should be spent on the best possible player available at that time, regardless if you need him or not. Granted, the best possible player at that time just might be RB Darren McFadden, but he has character issues that I think have to be factored in when talking about a player's quality. Dorsey seems like the safest bet to me, and packaging together two second round picks in order to make their way back into the late first round to pick up QB Brian Brohm is the way I'd like to see the Falcons go.

Either way, today is an exciting one for a Falcons fan.

So, I just watched Juno...my reaction?

Meh.

More later.

10 out of 10?! That's not a real score...

So, IGN gave Grand Theft Auto IV (that's FOUR) a perfect 10 out of 10 in every possible category.



I'm sure the game is great, possibly THE best ever made to this point, but 10 out of 10 is just fucking stupid. NO GAME should ever get a perfect score, there has to be SOMETHING wrong with it. If you do this, your integrity is automatically jeopardized, in my opinion, and you need to learn the term "objective".

All a score like this does is makes people wonder how much you were paid by the company providing the game, as well as exclusive access to a lot of the game's material the entire week before the game's release, paid you. In the reviewer's eyes, sure, the game may be perfect, but in reality, that's just not a possible feat. I realize the site is paying the reviewer to give his opinion, but I think a bit of perspective could have been thrown in without tarnishing the message that the game is, in fact, one of the greatest ever made.

New guys always have it rough...

We have a new guy at work, and my boss already hates him. What the hell is that? Sure he got lost three times and had to call for directions, but isn't that what he's supposed to do when he gets lost? Would she rather he just drives around aimlessly, hoping to find the right house in time? Not everyone can be an android, you know.

I think it's amusing how people get all caught up in themselves. I saw a guy today actually yelling at a cop for pulling him over. The guy crossed those stripes that divide the turn lane into more than one turn lane, and he got caught. Instead of just sitting quietly and accepting his fate, though, the guy started ranting about how it's a waste of tax payer money and blah blah. Dude, you broke the law, you got caught, shut the fuck up and accept your punishment. That reminds me, I still have a $111 speeding ticket I have to pay by May 28th. I was doing 46 in a 35mph zone. It sucks, but I'll pay it because I BROKE THE LAW.

Anyway, I've got to get started PMing the shit out of people on Youtube about this radical show idea I have. It's a long-shot to get it to work, but I think it's doable, especially if I take it under my wing and do the brunt of the work on my own. Oh, and if you know someone, please tell them to check my page out at http://funnyordie.com/whaddayastoopid and vote for me. Or, check my page out on Youtube at http://youtube.com/fduptv . I don't just do this stuff for my health, you know. I'd like to turn it into a profession at some point.

EDIT: And how the hell did Ashley Tisdale become the popular girl from "The Suit Life of Zack & Cody"? Brenda Song is so much cuter.

Testosterone in da house!

I'm watching Robocop for the 238740934098904th time. God this movie is so masculine. Explosions, kickass futuristic cars and babes, awesome gunfights, robot destructo-porn, even a wild west style shootout where Robo comes in and takes out an entire drug factory full of goons. Oh, and the movie is gorier than most Alien vs. Predator commics = BONUS.

I'm going to buy Nights: Journer of Dreams for the Nintendo Wii and do a comparison review with the original Nights into Dreams... from 1996. I was playing the original last night, and it's aged considerably well, even if its shallowness is more than apparent by today's standards. Look for the review in the next few days once I've had a decent amount of time with the new game. I'll probably put up a "first impressions"
vid in the meantime.

Man, I can't type today. I've missed the apostrophe key like four times in this post alone, and other times I'm not pressing a key hard enough for it to register. Am I losing control of my own body?! No, I'm just sloppy. *phew*

Jesus, working 11 hours makes Donny a dull boy...

I'm fucking tired. I don't really know why, I didn't do anything physical today, but I did drive for the better part of 9 hours while I was at work, so I guess that can take its toll. I just feel like crashing, and I might because NOW that's something I can do. Yeah, crashing isn't such a good thing while you're driving, but it's okay at home on your bed.

1:15 - SHIRTS! (Best thing I've ever seen? Quite possibly.)

Disappointment must cause headaches...

Or maybe it's the weird motion sickness playing Metroid Prime 3 seems to have given me. That game is so fucking awesome it literally hurts. I love it. I did another video tonight, which is good because I need to stay on top of it and keep on working. It'll only help me as I move forward.

I need some caffeine to cure this headache, but I don't want to drink a soda because I'll be up until 5, and I have to be at work at 11am, and I need to get to sleep relatively soon. I guess I'll just have to wait it out. Maybe it'll go away if I watch some porn...

I have no idea what I'm doing.

I don't admit it often, but right now is one of those times where I do. I spent some time conjuring up and shooting this episode of FdupTV that I put up this morning, but now what do I do? I've put it on Youtube, Myspace, and Funny or Die, and I've posted it on every forum I visit regularly. I've also taken time out of my day to e-mail various people in the media -- all involved in shows or other forms of media that harbor the same kind of humor -- but I doubt any of it will end up meaning anything. I'm proud of my work, but I do it so other people can enjoy it. I mean, I'm not going to watch it when I'm bored, it's so you can watch it when you're bored. Ah well, I suppose if it's good it'll garner some recognition somehow.

Drumroll please...

Well here it is, the first ever fully realized sketch comedy show completely written and performed by moi.



The awesomest part about this whole thing is pretending anyone a) reads this blog even though I've never made its existence known to anyone, and b) important will ever see this thing and give me some kind of TV gig.

It's always fun to have an imagination, though, isn't that right Cactus Chef playing "We Didn't Start The Fire" on Flute?

Well, the first show of the new format is complete...

I'm exporting it to put on Youtube now. Wow, the quality takes such a hit, but I don't think it really matters. This post will be decidedly unfunny because I've been awake for 18 hours straight now, but I'm just happy to be finished with my first REAL episode of FdupTV. Hopefully I can make some longer episodes in the future, but I really need some feedback first. Here's hoping I get some.

One down, three to go.

I got one sketch out of the way for this week's show, now I just have to shoot three more and I can call it a day...err week? I like chocolate eclairs, by the way. True story.

So, wassa-hummina-hagaduhhaaaa

I took like 15 orders tonight and made like 60 bucks, but while I was checking out, I miscalculated my shit, and ended owing my boss $30 more than I thought, so I really didn't make anything. Then I was sad.

Then I decided to fight terrorism the best way I know how, by getting 2 Chili Cheeseburgers from Checkers...oh, and a large fries, as well.

Now that I'm full, it's time to get back to work. I have some shit I need to let go from today, and that's not code for "I need to take a dump," I'm much more straight forward about that.

Lunch time...mmm sandwiches...

I had to squeeze the life out of my mustard bottle because it's as empty as my soul. I'm basically eating a mayo sandwich right now because of this dilemma. What crap. I might have my first staff member for FdupTV.com. A friend of mine at work lives with a girl that is interested in writing for the site, so we'll see how that goes. I've got to get over this cold soon so that I can record some VOs for my show next week. I hate sounding like Bill Joe from Green Day all the time.

What in the hell was THAT all about?!

That's how I feel right now.

I still don't really know what happened last night. I posted here and basically signed off for the night, and, as I was about to turn off the computer, I got an IM from someone I swear I've never spoken with before. He asked if I'm still with PSU (a gaming site I was supposed to do some video work for last summer, but it never panned out), and I asked "am I?". He laughed and said he had worked with them, and then he fucking scared me. He said "I remember you well, Donny," which is my name, but it's really weird having someone you don't know calling you by your name. (Even though I put my real name all over my work, I guess I just didn't think anyone out there actually watched it.)

Then he tells me how stupid G4TV is because they wouldn't hire me a few years back, and then he says he's a big fan of FdupTV. Whoa, what? I have a fan? He actually told me it's "really funny" and that he thinks its "brilliantly done" in its current state. I tell him I'm thinking of changing the format, but that I'm doing it mainly because of Youtube's time limits, and he asks me why I don't just embed my video in my website with Flash? The truth is I didn't even know you could do that, but he had me send him one of my videos and proceeded to re-encode it and upload it to his site just to show me how it's done.

Well, that actually convinced me to give it a try, and I will starting this weekend, but I'm still changing the format of FdupTV. I think the skits are out of place with the news, and I think having both the FdUPDATE segment AND an FdupNEWS segment is just redundant. Oh, right, I showed this guy a review I did of a game called Shadow of the Colossus, and he ended up asking for my home address (PROBABLY a mistake to give it to him, but by this point he had shown me statistical charts of his website that said he was on pace to get over 3.4 million unique hits in the month of April, so I think he's legit enough) so that he can contact his Capcom rep and have her mail Okami for the Wii to me. If I get Okami in the mail (I was set to go out and purchase it today for $40) I'll be absolutely stoked because it looks like a great game, but it'll also make me question, yet again, just what in the hell happened last night.

It was really weird and so out-of-left-field that I'm still having trouble comprehending the odds of its taking place, but maybe it was one of those things that was meant to happen. I mean, he linked to my site without me even having to ask, and, as he said himself, that could be a potential 30-60,000 unique hits to my website. I mean, that's traffic I literally couldn't BUY right now, so maybe something big is taking place here. I don't know. I guess we'll see, won't we?

Time for Red Eye followed by shut eye...

I'm done for the night. I'm retiring for some late night entertainment, at least I hope it's entertaining. BYE!

Creativity is so hard to pretend...

It's something that just has to hit you over the head like a fucking sledgehammer. I can't think of anything funny, though I found an old CD from a couple years back by a band called Keane that seems to be helping. I'll just sit here for a few minutes and see if anything comes to me. If not, then I'm in dire straights because the weekend is fast approaching, and putting together one of these shows is a long, arduous process.

BAAAHAHAHAHA!!!

Home from work to go to work...

I'm home from work now, but I have to shoot a sketch for my show this weekend, so I'll be busy into the wee hours of the morning. Hopefully you'll all like what I have in store for you. It's going to be off the chain. Which chain, you ask? THAT chain over there, look!

*runs away*

Well, I finally got back to sleep....

I was abruptly awakened at 12, however, by my younger brother's incessant ringing of our doorbell. He wanted to pick up his Xbox 360 which he'd left over here two days ago, so I obliged and allowed he and my father to enter my abode. My dad hadn't had a chance to see our home theater yet, so he took advantage of it this time. He seemed to like it, so that's cool. Let's see, I'm working on an episode of FdupTV for upload some time this weekend. What day and time, I honestly couldn't tell you, but probably on Sunday, late in the day, possibly even night time. I'm stoked about it, though, since it's the first episode in the new format, and I think you'll all like some of the stuff, if not all of it. It's teh funny. (The misspelling of "the" on purpose should suggest its uber-awesomeness.) I'ma head downstairs to watch or play something now that my projector's on. Ciao!

I woke up at 4:45am...

All on my own, for whatever reason I just woke up at 4:45am, and now I can't get back to sleep. What the hell is that all about? Thank Christ I started this blog or else I'd go crazy. And thank Christ I recorded Red Eye so I can watch it until things worth watching DO come on.

I made it home alive!

I'm home and I have some nice video to upload in a few minutes. I shot an entire hour of stuff, but I'm afraid it's going to be saved for a rainy day. I will upload but a part of it. I was starting to crack from driving so much during the last two minutes of the tape, so I'll let you see how that went. Back in a few...

Full day's ahoy!

Working all day kinda sucks, but I work outside for a good portion of the day, and when it's nice out like it is today, I love it. Hopefully I'll make a ton of money, too, just to liven things up a bit. I'm bringing my camera with me, so maybe I'll come back with some gnarly footage of how my day went, so you can possibly look forward to that, as well. Well, I have to LEAVE in 15 minutes, and I've yet to even shower (waiting on clothes to dry helped that), so I must run. I'll leave you with a video I find entertaining.

Interesting people on the Activity Pit...

We're having a nice conversation in the chat room about how Red Eye's days could possibly be numbered. That's such a shame, really, because it's really a good show. I'd hate to lose it, but that's showbusiness for ya. I want to break into the industry myself, but I know how harsh it can be. I'd better expect to fail every time I do something because that's the reality entertainers face every day. Grimmer post than usual, I know, but I takes me entertainment seriously!

The day's done already?

Got up early, did the school thing, went to work, now I'm home again. I have to get up and go to work all day tomorrow, 11-9 or something like that, but I'm ready for it. Hopefully we'll have a little bit of business, something that's been sorely lacking during recent weeks. I'm wondering, too, if it'll be 30 degrees again tomorrow morning like it was today. I love Georgia weather. It's the middle of April, and for the first two weeks, we have temperatures in the 70s, but then all of a sudden here comes winter back in our faces again.

I wish I could control the weather. Man, that'd be all kinds of fun, huh? Have you ever thought about just how powerful Storm of the X-men really was? That's some scary shit right there. She literally could have obliterated everyone in the mansion, or any of their enemies, at any given time, but she had enough restraint to not do it, sort of like Superman. Come to think of it, that either means that they showed great restraint and self-control, or they were just chicken-shit losers that didn't have the guts to take anyone out.

Pacifist pussies...

Tired of waiting, I retire...just for the night!

I was comtemplating staying up until 2am just to install an audio codec on my Blu-ray player. See how stupid that sounds? Yeah, I said it out loud and realized sleep is much more important. Well, I'm not going to sleep quite yet as it's barely midnight and I have to watch Conan O'brien, but after that, yeah, I'm out. Anyway, I've gotta get up at 7am and drive my little brother to school. God I hate responsibility.

EDIT: Of course, literally three minutes after I shut the projector off for the night, Sony uploads the new firmware I've been waiting all night for.

>=-(

Fuck you, Sony.

EDIT #2: So, being the freaking nerd that I am, I just got up, went downstairs, moved the PS3 into another room, hooked it up to the internet and stealthily updated the firmware. I then popped in Shoot 'Em Up on Blu-ray and checked to see if the new audio codec was working, and sure enough, there it was. I'll have to wait until tomorrow to hear it, but I'm happy it worked. Now I can sleep peacefully. (God that's REALLY pathetic.)

As I sit here waiting for my DTS-HD Master Audio...

I'm waiting for my DTS-HD Master Audio to become available on my PS3, which will happen at 2am EST. I'm currently killing time with an oldie, but goodie, that I bought today for $20 -- House of the Dead 2 and 3 Return. It's a heck of a deal since I'll probably play it ten times more than any of my $60 PS3 games. I hate how gaming works sometimes. You pay these outrageous prices for awesome sound and graphics, but like 8 hours of entertainment...then other games have so much replay value, or have so much content all together, that they last you literally months for the same price--often less. Ah well, c'est la vie.

COME ON, SONY! HURRY IT UP!

=)

Typical morning=not much fun.

As usual, I'm plugging away at the morning news shows, putting up with any and everything they throw in my face, just to find something juicy to use for an upcoming FdUPDATE. There's the teens that beat up Victoria Lindsay, a 16-year old cheerleader, there's Obama's "bitter" comments, and apparently they're JUST NOW realizing that teens are no longer passing "love notes" written on paper in classes, but sending text messages instead (NO KIDDING?!). Blah, all boring as far as I'm concerned. My readers (both of you) want to be entertained, they want something they can't find anywhere else. That leaves me with but one option--I have to make something up.

I could shoot for something simple and generic, like aliens, or maybe a sand-Yhetti, but no, no, no, that's cheap. I need something awesome. Something befitting of a brilliant mind such as mine, something like...ah screw it, I can't think on an empty stomach (yes, there are times where I don't eat). I'm going to remedy this newfound problem and I'll return with a juicy morsel soon-ish. In the meantime, go sign up on my forums and check out my last FdUPDATE from a couple weeks ago.

http://www.fduptv.com/